FRIENDSHIP IN POST MARRIAGE

Trust me, after marriage everything is about you, your husband and your home. Everything is always about you. At a point you might think that you are being selfish, but that's how marriage is, though it isn't necessary that it should be that way. It always depends on you and your nature whether you wanted to be known as the women who is interested only in her life or the women who is generous and is friends with many a few people. The problem with most married women is something I can relate to.

There was a forward mail a few years ago saying, 'choose your friends in your teens with whom you can share the rest of your lives with'. I never believed or understood it at that time, but now I understand it as clear as I wouldn't want to. My life has been ruled by myself or my parents for most of the time. Never had friends over for sleepovers and was never invited to one, probably because I was supposed to be one of the delirious, dazed, forgetful and a many other kind of kid. I never understood myself and never understood why people thought of me in that way. So, anyway I spent most of my childhood friendless and alone. But in college things started to change and I had friends whom I could talk to and had a very good time.

But after the four years of college, things changed as they should. Careers came between us before we even realized it. Before we could know, we were so far from each other, physically and emotionally that connecting with each other became an issue and slowly it was like we never knew each other before. It is important after marriage, that you have friends with whom you can go and have a girls day out. It is very important to have friends for a successful married life. Most couples move to different cities or sometimes even countries where you hardly know anyone. The probability of having a relative or friend in a new city or a country is very low and you end up more lonely than before if you are not a working person.

You want friends, but sadly all your friends are else where in some other city or country too busy with their lives to bother or ask about yours. The new friends of your spouse have their own friends and wouldn't like a new person in their group. It is very important that you maintain your friends even with the distances or the personal relationships or mental problems you are going through. It is good to have a friend other than your husband to talk to and have a person to talk to when you need. Another number on your extensive contacts wouldn't cause you harm, but will give you the confidence that you have someone to talk to during your troubled girl time.