THE DAY I SAT STILL, ONCE AGAIN, EVERYDAY.

I never thought that i would sit still again after my best friend left for her career. I never thought anything else could be so painful than my best friend leaving away and we could never hangout again. Chatting with her daily, talking on phone, sharing pictures online seemed to have satisfied me, until the darkness swooped in. It wasn't the darkness of the night or the darkness by blindness. It was the darkness that emanated from the heart, deep inside from the heart. It seemed like the darkness engulfed me and never seemed to leave me.

Friends try to get me out of the darkness. The darkness is so dark that I can't notice the people out there. I don't want to, I guess. My heart just didn't seem to accept that there were other people out there beyond the darkness. It is like my sun disappeared and that there are no moon or stars out there to shine upon me. My solar system's planets crashed into each other and there was no way another could form. I was receiving help from other solar system's but I didn't want it. I want to stay within myself.

A smile that used to never leave my face seemed to have drowned never to resurface like the gigantic Titanic. A enthusiastic, bubbly, young, dynamic and confident girl is now an introvert who barely opens her mouth to talk and who has lost her self-confidence too. Blaming self did the thing for a while, but then the darkness never left. I sat still rewinding all the memories that I ever had and still couldn't smile or atleast smug. People called me up to give me condolences, which were fake, some didn't even offer. But still I sat still, never moving like a statue breathing or a breathing corpse. People shook me from time to time to check on me, but I can never escape the darkness I was left in.

Finally everyone gave up. They didn't remember me nor did they see me. I was one in the crowd. And then in the darkness a single tear shed of my eyes, through my cheeks it came down upon my hands. The cold tear didn't move me but gave way for gallons of other tears and that's the day i sat still, once again, everyday.