I never knew that i would be appreciated by so many people for my posts. Thank you everyone who keep reading my blog regularly and keep adding comments. I have been here for a long time, but never actually been appreciated by anyone. My parents don't even know that i keep blogging. I love to write. I love to express my feelings through words. Its d only way i can feel happy. Oh yes there are many other ways, but when i write its like my happiness is flowing inward into my heart and brain. I have found a new found companion that is this blog. My previous post-"Punched Hole", was a story of every girl in engineering. It's just not about what has just happened to me. I think every other girl in engineering experiences this. I might be the only one who has taken the bold step to agree with it and post it openly on a blog. But many girls do agree with me in their hearts.
Recently, I was watching this Disney movie-"Camp Rock". I was so mesmerized by the songs that even i wanted to write something and eventually i wrote up and composed a song "Be Yourself". When i looked at the song, it was mostly about me. Not about everyone else. My attitude has been rejected by people. My was of speech has been rejected. People get irritated because i speak a lot. But, is that a crime for being what i am? I can't change the way i am and people can't get used to what i am. But, i have a serious question for everyone who is reading this. DO YOU ACT LIKE YOURSELF? Do you listen to your inner soul? Are you what you are from the inside? Question this to yourself and if you tell me you haven't got an answer you are betraying yourself.
Be what you are. Be what u can. Follow your dreams. Follow your principles. Because you are one who will be with yourself and no one can stop you from being yourself. Be individual.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
PUNCHED HOLE
A hole has been punched through my chest. The dialog seems familiar, but its like it has been happening to me. An year ago, i was probably the happiest girl. Had everything a girl wanted. But, an year later, I am the saddest chick on planet. What is that could have changed my life so drastically.
Two and a half years ago, i had two best-friends, who dumped an year later for better friends. When i was founded by another friend, who cared for me, who spoke with me, comforted me with his words. Six months ago i was dumped by him too. I was devasted. It was when i wanted him the most. With no one left i turned to some one who could heal the hole that he had punched. The friendship that has been developed between us is something that no one can fill. No one even tried taking his place. When the girls left me, I had him to fill their place. He took their place like no one did. But, eventually i got dumped, this time no one there to fill that place; to fill that hole that has been punched. Did i ever make a mistake that people go on dumping me? Is it something with the way i speak that people dump me? All the people i trusted, i wanted to be with are no more with me today. I do have friends, but those who just understand me outside, but not the real me inside.
I couldn't face my two best-friends even in my class. I tried to avoid, cheat and even bitch about them. But, i couldn't do it. I still want them back and probably they are unaware of what i am thinking. I do have a best friend now, miles and miles apart, who doesn't even raise his voice when its my mistake and i start shouting. I do have a best friend for whom i am not her best friend. I do have a best friend who has a huge crush on me. I do have a best friend who keeps hurting me without even realising he was. I do have a best friend who thinks I am jealous and selfish.
Living a life that has been a failure is something i have achieved today. I am quite happy with my present life, though no one who really cares, no one who really damn cares. Will i get dumped by the three best friends remaining is the most exciting part to watch out for!!!
Two and a half years ago, i had two best-friends, who dumped an year later for better friends. When i was founded by another friend, who cared for me, who spoke with me, comforted me with his words. Six months ago i was dumped by him too. I was devasted. It was when i wanted him the most. With no one left i turned to some one who could heal the hole that he had punched. The friendship that has been developed between us is something that no one can fill. No one even tried taking his place. When the girls left me, I had him to fill their place. He took their place like no one did. But, eventually i got dumped, this time no one there to fill that place; to fill that hole that has been punched. Did i ever make a mistake that people go on dumping me? Is it something with the way i speak that people dump me? All the people i trusted, i wanted to be with are no more with me today. I do have friends, but those who just understand me outside, but not the real me inside.
I couldn't face my two best-friends even in my class. I tried to avoid, cheat and even bitch about them. But, i couldn't do it. I still want them back and probably they are unaware of what i am thinking. I do have a best friend now, miles and miles apart, who doesn't even raise his voice when its my mistake and i start shouting. I do have a best friend for whom i am not her best friend. I do have a best friend who has a huge crush on me. I do have a best friend who keeps hurting me without even realising he was. I do have a best friend who thinks I am jealous and selfish.
Living a life that has been a failure is something i have achieved today. I am quite happy with my present life, though no one who really cares, no one who really damn cares. Will i get dumped by the three best friends remaining is the most exciting part to watch out for!!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
WHY I ENJOY READING
There is nothing much going on in my life presently. I was reading "The New Moon" of the "Twilight Saga" all over again. And it made me think for a while about my life. In the novel, Bella is confused over her own life about her feeling for her Jake. She thinks about her and my favorite classic story "Romeo and Juliet". She thinks about what would have happened to Juliet if Romeo deserted her. Instead of marrying her, if he had left her, just because he lost interest, what would have Juliet done. Would she marry Paris just for the sake of her parent's happiness? Thinking about this it gave me a thought, what would have happened if Alice didn't see Bella jumping off the cliff. Would it have been "Jake and Bella get married and live happily ever after"? Would it have been the same crazy best-seller as it is now? Would it have been the best movie ever made in Hollywood? Would it have wonderful actors and actresses starring in it?
No. It wouldn't have. That was a story. In real life, there is no happily ever after, as Adam Sandler points out in "Bedtime Stories". But, there are happies, which only last for a moment or two. This is the reason why i am attracted a lot to novels, stories with fiction, fantasy, romance, action, mystery, adventure and all the elements of life clubbed together. But, people rule it out as craziness. I love reading because what's happening in the novel doesn't happen in my life. It might happen, but not what is happening in the book. A book has to end, as has to life. A book ends in a few pages, but life ends after many long years, but still it ends. That is why i enjoy reading. I love to stay in the world where no one can bother you. I just wish i was an element in one of the story. I just wish i could be there and do what they can.
No. It wouldn't have. That was a story. In real life, there is no happily ever after, as Adam Sandler points out in "Bedtime Stories". But, there are happies, which only last for a moment or two. This is the reason why i am attracted a lot to novels, stories with fiction, fantasy, romance, action, mystery, adventure and all the elements of life clubbed together. But, people rule it out as craziness. I love reading because what's happening in the novel doesn't happen in my life. It might happen, but not what is happening in the book. A book has to end, as has to life. A book ends in a few pages, but life ends after many long years, but still it ends. That is why i enjoy reading. I love to stay in the world where no one can bother you. I just wish i was an element in one of the story. I just wish i could be there and do what they can.
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