When i first saw the movie titled the same, I had tears at the end of the movie. No one gets anything so easily. When i had something that made me happy, I thought that was it and nothing else in the world can be more perfect in my life than that moment itself. Little did I realize, that life unfolds many unseen things to you in the coming days. After the day I found happiness (At least I thought so), I started experiencing the worst pain ever. I don't think no one ever described it ever in any movie or any poem or any story. As a matter of fact no one ever wants to write about it. It's called rejection. When some one rejects you out from their life, the pain that you experience is way much more than anything in the world.
Everyone lives in this world for one reason; to be eventually happy. Everyone wants a "happily-ever-after", but no one gets it. A happy ending hardly exists. Every human dies with a regret, that he/she hadn't been able to do something they wanted to do all their life. When I was a kid all I wanted to do was get a job and make lots of money give that to my parents. I thought happiness was in that. But, today when I'm doing all of it, I'm still not happy. Reason- REJECTION!!! Don't ask me who rejected me, cause every other person I have and had met has rejected me. It's like the whole world has turned their back against me. I was happy when I was in school and had no friends and had to eat lunch alone. Today I have countless number of friends and still I sit alone in my office cafeteria and eat alone and feel so bloody damn sad.
Why is it that we meet people? Why is that we never understand each other and end up fighting and breaking up? What's the whole point? I'll tell you the whole point. It's to warn you. One day some one breaks your heart, the next day you break, instead of just ignoring this we are supposed to take that as experience and be careful the next time. We meet hundreds of people in our whole life and end up being in contact with a very few people. When you don't stay in contact what's the whole point in making friends?
Friends, today we might have a lot of people in life, but there will be one day when there's no one with you and you are left all alone and that's not the moment to sit and cry. Go out, discover yourself, do things you've never done, eat things you'll never eat. Smile at a total stranger, make someone else happy. What if you aren't happy? Make someone else happy! Live for others than yourself. Happiness my friends,doesn't come searching for you. You need to pursuit it until you find it and that doesn't end there. Even after you've found it you need to make sure the pursuit has been worth. You need to make happiness stay with you. Don't ever let your hard work get away. Your happiness is the reward for what you have been doing till date. Keep smiling and keep pursuiting happiness!!!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
THE CHENNAI EXPRESS
Guess it was around four weeks ago, it was my best friend Genius' birthday and we planned to celebrate it in Chennai with my other best friend who was back from abroad. So we planned to meet at Babes place for lunch and then head out for some shopping. That weekend was awesome and I just can't forget it. I envy Genius for having to get her birthday celebrated with both her best friends. Damn man! If life was so simple, I and Genius traveled on the same train to get to Hyderabad from Chennai - The Charminar Express, but while coming back we couldn't get on the same train. I was travelling by Chennai Express and she by Egmore Express. Both of us felt very bad for not having to travel in the same train again.
So, there began my journey on the Chennai Express alone. Okay, not quite alone! My parents with my grandmother were there on the same train but in a different compartment. I tried to time pass for sometime sitting alone, I opened a novel, closed it; started listening to songs; stopped. Finally, bugged up, I called Babes just to time pass for a while. I spoke to her until my balance got over. It was time the train started to its destination. The berths beside me and opposite to me were empty. The side berths were occupied by two guys who were eating since I boarded the train and still wouldn’t stop. Finally a guy came and sat opposite me, at 5’9 and very fair he seemed kind of cute. Finally, again bugged up I plugged in my ear phones and started singing out loudly. The guy opposite to me started at me as if I were a buffalo, as if I cared.
He gave me small smile, a smile that read she’s-a-kid-smile and I gave him a look saying mind-your-own-business-pervert. But then after some time due to dead bore-ness I smiled again, and this time he stroke up a conversation. We went on talking and then at Secunderabad my inter friend boarded the train. He called me up saying he’ll come to me after the ticket collector verifies his ticket. So this guy opposite to me, his name is Pavan and we went on talking for what seemed like hours and then my inter friend, Vijay Anand, came and sat with us. Three of us chatted for what seemed like a few minutes and then we were joined by Vijay Anand’s colleague Narasimha. Four of us had loads of fun talking about stupid topics.
Then finally rats were running around in our stomach’s and we realized that we were damn hungry. But our luck was so bad that no vendor came to sell anything and we starved for a while, until Vijay Anand remembered he got dinner of four chapathi’s and it was in his bag which was in another compartment. So he went and got his bag and opened the chapathi’s and all four us huddled together and ate them. Each of us had one and then relaxed for a while, resuming our talks. After a few minutes, the vendors came n we got a lots of junk food to eat. My aunt who lives in Guntur which is like mid-way between Hyderabad and Guntur promised to provide me with dinner. So I promised my three friends that we can share my dinner among ourselves.
All four of us were eagerly waiting for Guntur to arrive so that we can eat the dinner. My aunt promised me a delicious dinner over phone. So, our minds made up the most delicious dinner’s of all. Finally Guntur arrived and my aunt got my dinner. It wasn’t the most luxurious as we imagined, but was the most simple and delicious of all. We ate it until we couldn’t eat any more and finally we completed whatever was there in the packet.
A journey to take me back to the corporate world, gave me two new friends. We exchanged numbers and e-mail id’s and promised to stay in touch. A week after that, Pavan made me his darling little sister. Well, of course, I am the Princess, but I had no idea that people found me so annoyingly cute and like a kid. People might question me, how can I trust a person I met on a train! But, I don’t trust everyone I meet, I just ended meeting a cute brother, who cared of me as much as an own brother does. So I can never forget that journey on THE CHENNAI EXPRESS.
So, there began my journey on the Chennai Express alone. Okay, not quite alone! My parents with my grandmother were there on the same train but in a different compartment. I tried to time pass for sometime sitting alone, I opened a novel, closed it; started listening to songs; stopped. Finally, bugged up, I called Babes just to time pass for a while. I spoke to her until my balance got over. It was time the train started to its destination. The berths beside me and opposite to me were empty. The side berths were occupied by two guys who were eating since I boarded the train and still wouldn’t stop. Finally a guy came and sat opposite me, at 5’9 and very fair he seemed kind of cute. Finally, again bugged up I plugged in my ear phones and started singing out loudly. The guy opposite to me started at me as if I were a buffalo, as if I cared.
He gave me small smile, a smile that read she’s-a-kid-smile and I gave him a look saying mind-your-own-business-pervert. But then after some time due to dead bore-ness I smiled again, and this time he stroke up a conversation. We went on talking and then at Secunderabad my inter friend boarded the train. He called me up saying he’ll come to me after the ticket collector verifies his ticket. So this guy opposite to me, his name is Pavan and we went on talking for what seemed like hours and then my inter friend, Vijay Anand, came and sat with us. Three of us chatted for what seemed like a few minutes and then we were joined by Vijay Anand’s colleague Narasimha. Four of us had loads of fun talking about stupid topics.
Then finally rats were running around in our stomach’s and we realized that we were damn hungry. But our luck was so bad that no vendor came to sell anything and we starved for a while, until Vijay Anand remembered he got dinner of four chapathi’s and it was in his bag which was in another compartment. So he went and got his bag and opened the chapathi’s and all four us huddled together and ate them. Each of us had one and then relaxed for a while, resuming our talks. After a few minutes, the vendors came n we got a lots of junk food to eat. My aunt who lives in Guntur which is like mid-way between Hyderabad and Guntur promised to provide me with dinner. So I promised my three friends that we can share my dinner among ourselves.
All four of us were eagerly waiting for Guntur to arrive so that we can eat the dinner. My aunt promised me a delicious dinner over phone. So, our minds made up the most delicious dinner’s of all. Finally Guntur arrived and my aunt got my dinner. It wasn’t the most luxurious as we imagined, but was the most simple and delicious of all. We ate it until we couldn’t eat any more and finally we completed whatever was there in the packet.
A journey to take me back to the corporate world, gave me two new friends. We exchanged numbers and e-mail id’s and promised to stay in touch. A week after that, Pavan made me his darling little sister. Well, of course, I am the Princess, but I had no idea that people found me so annoyingly cute and like a kid. People might question me, how can I trust a person I met on a train! But, I don’t trust everyone I meet, I just ended meeting a cute brother, who cared of me as much as an own brother does. So I can never forget that journey on THE CHENNAI EXPRESS.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
A LIFE
I never thought i would be opening this blogspot again. I decided its time to quit writing about everything happening in my life. But, recent turn of events made me rethink about the whole idea. Instead of writing what's happening around in my life, I have decided to write about what's been happening around me. Today i realized this while a i saw a small life taking its last few breaths.
A life whether an animal's or human's is equally important. As i came out of my hostel to go to the cinema hall for the movie (X-Men - First Class), I saw two dogs fighting over something. First I thought it was a soft toy, a few moments later to my horror i realized it was the 3-week old puppy. I stood there watching in horror how the dog tried to eat the dog and the mother trying to protect it. I was transfixed in my place. I shouted finally. My watchman came running and threw stones at the other dog. The other dog ran away. The puppy seemed fine and i took a deep sigh. But as the mother dog dragged its baby away, I saw the blood trails all over the mud. Again, i was transfixed to the spot.
I could hear the puppy crying, while the mother dog licked its wounds the blood continued to flow out. The horrors kept hitting me, the puppy's neck was eaten away. There was no way the puppy could save. I just stood there. I tried to getting near to try to help it, but the mother dog wouldn't allow me to. As I stood there crying, I didn't take a single step. I walked away letting the baby puppy to die. I realized at later that I could have stayed back a few more moments call an ambulance or enquire for Blue Cross number. But instead I left for the movie. As i was travelling to the cinema hall, I realized I had been so selfish and thought about myself and the movie but not about a dying puppy.
If I had stayed back i would have been able to, maybe atleast try, to save the baby puppy from dying. I COULD HAVE TRIED. But, I didn't. It moved me a lot to think about what we are doing daily. That puppy while dying told me how selfish I am being. Im still depressed to the fact that I walked away from something that was dying. Maybe a person can't be more selfish than this! My selfishness costed a life.
A life whether an animal's or human's is equally important. As i came out of my hostel to go to the cinema hall for the movie (X-Men - First Class), I saw two dogs fighting over something. First I thought it was a soft toy, a few moments later to my horror i realized it was the 3-week old puppy. I stood there watching in horror how the dog tried to eat the dog and the mother trying to protect it. I was transfixed in my place. I shouted finally. My watchman came running and threw stones at the other dog. The other dog ran away. The puppy seemed fine and i took a deep sigh. But as the mother dog dragged its baby away, I saw the blood trails all over the mud. Again, i was transfixed to the spot.
I could hear the puppy crying, while the mother dog licked its wounds the blood continued to flow out. The horrors kept hitting me, the puppy's neck was eaten away. There was no way the puppy could save. I just stood there. I tried to getting near to try to help it, but the mother dog wouldn't allow me to. As I stood there crying, I didn't take a single step. I walked away letting the baby puppy to die. I realized at later that I could have stayed back a few more moments call an ambulance or enquire for Blue Cross number. But instead I left for the movie. As i was travelling to the cinema hall, I realized I had been so selfish and thought about myself and the movie but not about a dying puppy.
If I had stayed back i would have been able to, maybe atleast try, to save the baby puppy from dying. I COULD HAVE TRIED. But, I didn't. It moved me a lot to think about what we are doing daily. That puppy while dying told me how selfish I am being. Im still depressed to the fact that I walked away from something that was dying. Maybe a person can't be more selfish than this! My selfishness costed a life.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
I waited for twenty-two long years, for a moment like this. Maybe no human can be satisfied and happy with their life as much as I am today. Reason? Some don't have reasons, maybe that's what happens when you dream about something and the same exact things keep happening in your life. The days seem yesterday, when i filled my personal diary with all the dreams in my teen days hoping for every word and every dream to come true. And after waiting for such a long time, and my dreams coming true its more than what I can ask for.
The first time I felt that I have been for a reason. I am worth living on this earth. Many-a-times there were days when i missed my best friends and cried for them. There couldn't have been a better depressed soul as i was. Funny to say that in a matter of days everything changed. I live the dream of every girl. Every girl would die to get into my shoes and experience it for at least once. Its like a fairy tale. Cinderella's ball dance, Snow White's prince or Aurora's charm prince. I feel like a princess from one of those fairy tales. Only difference is that they have been written by some author for the purpose of entertainment, and in my life its coming for true.
I am happy seems like an understatement. This might also be the last blog post i might ever post. I used to generally write when i was sad to let the emotions run through my words. But, the recent turn of events gave me a confidence that i would never have a tear in my eye or a glum face ever. Maybe i would start writing a new blog about how a person can be satisfied and happy. A happy person has everything in the world. All the wealth and health exists with him/her. Hence I am the richest person in the world. No currency can buy this moment for anyone in the world. I am glad to have a person, well two persons, to make me feel this way. I really do rule their life. I am the PRINCESS
The first time I felt that I have been for a reason. I am worth living on this earth. Many-a-times there were days when i missed my best friends and cried for them. There couldn't have been a better depressed soul as i was. Funny to say that in a matter of days everything changed. I live the dream of every girl. Every girl would die to get into my shoes and experience it for at least once. Its like a fairy tale. Cinderella's ball dance, Snow White's prince or Aurora's charm prince. I feel like a princess from one of those fairy tales. Only difference is that they have been written by some author for the purpose of entertainment, and in my life its coming for true.
I am happy seems like an understatement. This might also be the last blog post i might ever post. I used to generally write when i was sad to let the emotions run through my words. But, the recent turn of events gave me a confidence that i would never have a tear in my eye or a glum face ever. Maybe i would start writing a new blog about how a person can be satisfied and happy. A happy person has everything in the world. All the wealth and health exists with him/her. Hence I am the richest person in the world. No currency can buy this moment for anyone in the world. I am glad to have a person, well two persons, to make me feel this way. I really do rule their life. I am the PRINCESS
Saturday, March 19, 2011
FROM THE CITY OF SAMBAR AND SWEAT
As I arrived here, at the city famous for Sambar, Appallam and Seashores, one thing I realized that such a massive city, the flow of traffic had happened with ease, I would starve for home food. The sweat almost drenched me, by the time I reached my accommodation I could literally produce a bucket of sweat. Then me and my dad had Dosai for breakfast. Later in the afternoon, we went out to explore the city. The scorching heat tired us beyond what we had eaten. Trusting an auto driver that day was the first wrong step we made that day. We were robbed of money and dropped at an unknown place. After eating Dosai yet again, we reached back into our accommodation, we were dead on our feet.
This continued and we lived on Dosai for the next day too. Our Induction program at the famous Rain Tree Hotel at Anna Salai, Teynampet was done with pomp and show. All of us enjoyed and I got to know some really good guys and girls and we instantly clicked. I missed home badly that night. Tears that came out but no one to clear them. I felt homesick already after arriving just two days before. That weekend with a group I visited the famous Snake Park at Guindy and the Zoo adjacent to it. We had loads of fun teasing each other, pulling each others leg, taking photos and drinking lime juice.
That weekend all I did was sleep. The coming weekend i spent at my cousin's place and didn't much do anything. This weekend I was alone in my room. I looked around, watched Dabbangg, slept in the evening at 5 woke up at 7. I called up everyone I know and then the tears came out. I called up my cousin who lives here and I started to their place. On my way, the tears still wouldn't stop. I took a seven seater and was on my way. There was no one in the auto and I was scared. As my stop neared, the auto man asked for the money and i handed him a note. I guess he saw my tears. He asked me where i had to go and unlike the other auto drivers i had met, he was so graceful that he dropped me till the stop where no sever-seater auto drivers will go.
That act of him moved me. My tears stopped. I started enjoying the climate. I played the songs and started enjoying them. That one move of that guy made me changed my mood. I felt a bit better. I would never forget that auto annai who left me at the bus stop even if it wasn't necessary and he wasn't going there. I didn't feel home, but atleast it made me feel better. This city could never make me feel home probably, but one gesture made me foget my worries for a while. I thank that man profusely for that gesture.
This continued and we lived on Dosai for the next day too. Our Induction program at the famous Rain Tree Hotel at Anna Salai, Teynampet was done with pomp and show. All of us enjoyed and I got to know some really good guys and girls and we instantly clicked. I missed home badly that night. Tears that came out but no one to clear them. I felt homesick already after arriving just two days before. That weekend with a group I visited the famous Snake Park at Guindy and the Zoo adjacent to it. We had loads of fun teasing each other, pulling each others leg, taking photos and drinking lime juice.
That weekend all I did was sleep. The coming weekend i spent at my cousin's place and didn't much do anything. This weekend I was alone in my room. I looked around, watched Dabbangg, slept in the evening at 5 woke up at 7. I called up everyone I know and then the tears came out. I called up my cousin who lives here and I started to their place. On my way, the tears still wouldn't stop. I took a seven seater and was on my way. There was no one in the auto and I was scared. As my stop neared, the auto man asked for the money and i handed him a note. I guess he saw my tears. He asked me where i had to go and unlike the other auto drivers i had met, he was so graceful that he dropped me till the stop where no sever-seater auto drivers will go.
That act of him moved me. My tears stopped. I started enjoying the climate. I played the songs and started enjoying them. That one move of that guy made me changed my mood. I felt a bit better. I would never forget that auto annai who left me at the bus stop even if it wasn't necessary and he wasn't going there. I didn't feel home, but atleast it made me feel better. This city could never make me feel home probably, but one gesture made me foget my worries for a while. I thank that man profusely for that gesture.
Monday, February 7, 2011
MY TRANSITION FROM A TOMBOY TO A WOMEN
I have always been more of a boy, maybe I was trying to escape the harsh reality of life. Also being the oldest in the family, made me a bit tough, climbing walls in my old colony, cycling around with in shorts with other colony guys and girls and irritating everyone, dismantling stuff that I couldn't put back and many other stuff that were considered boyish and not for the girls. Dad was more than willing to let me live like that, but only till a certain age. As I was growing, my brain wanted to stick to what I was doing. I didn't realize that living like that was childish. Thought i had stopped wearing shorts, I continued with my chopped hair and my attitude. It was long before my mom put her leg down and made me grow my hair.
In school, I was what you could call as a freak, later in inter-the brainy one, later in engineering-the girl with attitude problems. All this made me more determined not to be those millions of girls with manicured, pedicured, parlor-ed hair, stilettos, frilly dresses etc etc whatever made you look like a girl. I went around like I didn't care about anyone. I was one among a million, at least I felt that way (Well, now i know better).
A women in the society...means who should keep her head down while walking in a crowd; who cooks for her husband after marriage, even if she's working; who has to go through a lot of pains all her life but still shut up and bear it all. But, for me a women in the society...means who can keep her head high while walking in the crowd, proud to be a part of it; cooks for her husband after marriage, not because she has to because she loves to; who has to go through a lot of pains all her life but has the support of her loved ones.
I haven't achieved all this, but I put my tomboy-ish attitude behind me, my childish nature behind me. Though I am not those manicured, pedicured and parlor-ed hair with stilettos and frilly dresses, I am a girl at heart, I at least realized that now. I am still one in a million (Well, some things are tough to change). Betrayals made me more strong. People desert you once in a while, but sometimes they desert you in such a place that there's no back out. I have come out from such a place. I have left my over-enthu nature, my bubbliness, my I-am-the-best-in-the-world attitude, my tomboy-ish nature there in that desert and came out. Now, though I'm still now shy to talk to strangers, I measure my distance while approaching, I don't accept random friend requests because I have common friends, I don't reply to every text message i get in my mobile from a new number, I don't run around anymore, my walk isn't like a troll's. So, finally after 22 years of living i have realized what is to be a women. I thought it was a curse to be a women. But now, I am proud to be falling in that species. I am born to be something and i will be something one day. And so will every girl born on this planet.
In school, I was what you could call as a freak, later in inter-the brainy one, later in engineering-the girl with attitude problems. All this made me more determined not to be those millions of girls with manicured, pedicured, parlor-ed hair, stilettos, frilly dresses etc etc whatever made you look like a girl. I went around like I didn't care about anyone. I was one among a million, at least I felt that way (Well, now i know better).
A women in the society...means who should keep her head down while walking in a crowd; who cooks for her husband after marriage, even if she's working; who has to go through a lot of pains all her life but still shut up and bear it all. But, for me a women in the society...means who can keep her head high while walking in the crowd, proud to be a part of it; cooks for her husband after marriage, not because she has to because she loves to; who has to go through a lot of pains all her life but has the support of her loved ones.
I haven't achieved all this, but I put my tomboy-ish attitude behind me, my childish nature behind me. Though I am not those manicured, pedicured and parlor-ed hair with stilettos and frilly dresses, I am a girl at heart, I at least realized that now. I am still one in a million (Well, some things are tough to change). Betrayals made me more strong. People desert you once in a while, but sometimes they desert you in such a place that there's no back out. I have come out from such a place. I have left my over-enthu nature, my bubbliness, my I-am-the-best-in-the-world attitude, my tomboy-ish nature there in that desert and came out. Now, though I'm still now shy to talk to strangers, I measure my distance while approaching, I don't accept random friend requests because I have common friends, I don't reply to every text message i get in my mobile from a new number, I don't run around anymore, my walk isn't like a troll's. So, finally after 22 years of living i have realized what is to be a women. I thought it was a curse to be a women. But now, I am proud to be falling in that species. I am born to be something and i will be something one day. And so will every girl born on this planet.
LIFE UPHILL
I looked to the top
it seemed quite high
I was determined
to reach heights.
I took a deep breath
prayed to the Gods
took all my strength
n I started Uphill.
I started climbing
it was easy in the beginning
I could reach without difficulty
hardest was yet to come.
Midway I started panting
the rocks started hurting
my knees were giving away
I cried softly.
The breeze was against me
pushing me to fall
the mountain seemed to grow
to keep me down.
I gathered my courage
thought bout my parents
I pushed myself against the winds
and kept scaling the peak.
I was almost there
I could see the peak
nothing could stop me now
I was stimulated.
Finally, i reached the peak
I looked below
I smiled and realized
"Life's Uphill".
it seemed quite high
I was determined
to reach heights.
I took a deep breath
prayed to the Gods
took all my strength
n I started Uphill.
I started climbing
it was easy in the beginning
I could reach without difficulty
hardest was yet to come.
Midway I started panting
the rocks started hurting
my knees were giving away
I cried softly.
The breeze was against me
pushing me to fall
the mountain seemed to grow
to keep me down.
I gathered my courage
thought bout my parents
I pushed myself against the winds
and kept scaling the peak.
I was almost there
I could see the peak
nothing could stop me now
I was stimulated.
Finally, i reached the peak
I looked below
I smiled and realized
"Life's Uphill".
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